{"id":6422,"date":"2025-04-04T17:02:27","date_gmt":"2025-04-04T17:02:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.cnvromania.ro\/?p=6422"},"modified":"2026-04-23T11:20:37","modified_gmt":"2026-04-23T11:20:37","slug":"imbratisandu-mi-umbrele-calatoria-rusinii-cu-cnv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.cnvromania.ro\/en\/2025\/04\/04\/imbratisandu-mi-umbrele-calatoria-rusinii-cu-cnv\/","title":{"rendered":"Embracing My Shadows \u2013 The Journey of Shame with NVC"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Articol scris de Daniela Doru<\/strong>. For English, see below<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">De c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u0219tiu, ru\u0219inea a fost ca o a doua cas\u0103 pentru mine. \u00cenc\u0103 de mic\u0103, am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 prezen\u021ba mea putea provoca disconfort, c\u0103 alcoolismul tat\u0103lui meu \u0219i certurile p\u0103rin\u021bilor mei erau, \u00eentr-un fel, o reflec\u021bie a mea. Vinov\u0103\u021bia \u0219i ru\u0219inea mi-au devenit \u00eenso\u021bitori t\u0103cu\u021bi, \u0219optindu-mi c\u0103 nu sunt niciodat\u0103 suficient\u0103 de bun\u0103 sau c\u0103 merit. Sim\u021beam c\u0103 sunt responsabil\u0103 pentru lucruri mult dincolo de puterea mea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce am crescut, am recreat incon\u0219tient situa\u021bii care s\u0103-mi \u00eent\u0103reasc\u0103 aceast\u0103 convingere \/ credin\u021b\u0103. M\u0103 retr\u0103geam \u00een momente \u00een care aveam tot dreptul s\u0103 fiu acolo. \u00cemi ceream scuze pentru orice, ori pentru c\u0103 vorbeam prea mult sau pentru c\u0103 nu vorbeam destul. \u0218i, c\u00e2nd ru\u0219inea nu \u00eemi era impus\u0103 din exterior, mi-o impuneam eu \u00eens\u0103mi\u2014prin rela\u021bii, munc\u0103 sau chiar prin momentele lini\u0219tite \u00een care criticul meu interior prospera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar ceva s-a schimbat c\u00e2nd am descoperit Comunicarea Nonviolent\u0103 (CNV) \u0219i puterea sprijinului celorlal\u021bi \u00een procesul de con\u0219tientizare care a dus spre \u201dvindecare\u201d. La \u00eenceput, am abordat CNV ca pe un instrument pentru a-mi \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bi comunicarea cu ceilal\u021bi, dar \u00een scurt timp am realizat c\u0103 impactul s\u0103u cel mai profund era asupra modului \u00een care comunicam cu mine \u00eens\u0103mi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Declan\u0219at\u0103 de o situa\u021bie cu propriul meu copil, am \u00een\u021beles c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103-mi \u00eent\u00e2lnesc Copilul Interior, \u0219i nu oricum, ci, cu compasiune.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Una dintre cele mai mari revela\u021bii din aceast\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103torie a fost s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg c\u0103 ru\u0219inea nu era cine sunt eu, ci mai degrab\u0103 un mecanism de supravie\u021buire. Era vocea unei feti\u021be care \u00eenv\u0103\u021base c\u0103 asumarea responsabilit\u0103\u021bii pentru tot ceea ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpla \u00een jurul ei oferea mult mai mult\u0103 siguran\u021b\u0103 versus a \u00eenfrunta haosul imprevizibilului. Prin CNV, am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat s\u0103 ascult acea voce f\u0103r\u0103 judecat\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00cen loc s\u0103 las ru\u0219inea s\u0103 \u00eemi dicteze dialogul interior, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 folosesc pa\u0219ii lui Marshall, cum \u00eemi place mie s\u0103-i numesc:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Observa\u021bie f\u0103r\u0103 judecat\u0103: \u201eObserv c\u0103 simt ru\u0219ine atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eemi exprim nevoile.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Identificarea emo\u021biilor: \u201eAcum m\u0103 simt expus\u0103 \u0219i speriat\u0103.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Conectarea cu nevoile: \u201eCeea ce am cu adev\u0103rat nevoie este s\u0103 fiu v\u0103zut\u0103 \u0219i acceptat\u0103, mai \u00eent\u00e2i de mine \u00eens\u0103mi.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Formularea unei cereri: \u201e\u00cemi pot oferi mie \u00eens\u0103mi aceea\u0219i bun\u0103tate pe care a\u0219 oferi-o copilului meu?\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Aceast\u0103 schimbare simpl\u0103\u2014de la vinov\u0103\u021bie la curiozitate\u2014a \u00eenceput s\u0103 \u00eenmoaie marginile aspre ale ru\u0219inii.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unul dintre cele mai puternice aspecte ale acestei c\u0103l\u0103torii a fost s\u0103 recunosc c\u0103 nu trebuia s\u0103 duc aceast\u0103 c\u0103l\u0103torie singur\u0103. Compania celorlal\u021bi a devenit o oglind\u0103 \u00een care m-am putut vedea prin ochii copiilor \u0219i adul\u021bilor din jur. Fie prin prietenii profunde, fie pur \u0219i simplu prin prezen\u021ba \u00een spa\u021bii unde m\u0103 sim\u021beam \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103, am \u00eenceput s\u0103 rescriu povestea c\u0103 sunt prea mult sau prea pu\u021bin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Au existat momente \u00een care vechile tipare au revenit. Perioade \u00een care c\u0103deam \u00een capcana de a crede c\u0103 am e\u0219uat dac\u0103 sim\u021beam din nou ru\u0219ine. Dar, prin sprijinul celor din jur, am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 eliberarea de povestea veche nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103-mi \u0219terg umbrele\u2014ci s\u0103 le \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219ez \u0219i s\u0103 le integrez.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Am realizat c\u0103 ru\u0219inea mea purta mesaje: nevoia de iubire, de apartenen\u021b\u0103, de a fi v\u0103zut\u0103 \u00een \u00eentregimea mea. C\u00e2nd am \u00eencetat s\u0103 resping aceast\u0103 parte din mine \u0219i am \u00eembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219at-o cu curiozitate \u0219i grij\u0103, s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat ceva frumos. Ru\u0219inea nu m\u0103 mai controla. \u00cen schimb, a devenit o poart\u0103 c\u0103tre o mai mare con\u0219tientizare de sine \u0219i compasiune.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Integrarea umbrelor mele este un proces continuu. \u00cenc\u0103 mai sunt zile \u00een care ru\u0219inea m\u0103 viziteaz\u0103, dar acum o \u00eent\u00e2mpin ca pe un vechi prieten, nu ca pe un du\u0219man\u2014de cele mai multe ori, nu \u00eentotdeauna \ud83d\ude42 O ascult, iar apoi \u00eemi reamintesc, cu bl\u00e2nde\u021be, c\u0103 sunt demn\u0103, c\u0103 sunt iubit\u0103 \u0219i c\u0103 nu sunt definit\u0103 de r\u0103nile trecutului meu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">CNV \u0219i prezen\u021ba oamenilor din comunit\u0103\u021bile de unde apar\u021bin nu au \u0219ters ru\u0219inea, dar mi-au oferit instrumentele pentru a o \u021bine cu tandre\u021be. \u0218i, f\u0103c\u00e2nd acest lucru, am descoperit o libertate pe care nu mi-am imaginat-o niciodat\u0103 posibil\u0103\u2014libertatea de a exista pe deplin, f\u0103r\u0103 scuze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Daniela Doru<\/strong>, membr\u0103 \u00een Consiliul ACNV \u0219i Candidat\u0103 pentru Certificare \u00een Comunicare Nonviolent\u0103, \u0219i-a dedicat ultimele dou\u0103 decenii explor\u0103rii dezvolt\u0103rii personale, descoperind c\u0103 fiecare interac\u021biune exterioar\u0103 reflect\u0103, de fapt, propria noastr\u0103 lume interioar\u0103. \u00cembin\u00e2nd rolurile de mam\u0103, so\u021bie, profesoar\u0103 \u0219i ghid pentru cei din jur, a transformat conflictele \u00een oportunit\u0103\u021bi de conexiune autentic\u0103. Pasionat\u0103 de crearea unor spa\u021bii emo\u021bionale sigure, at\u00e2t \u00een \u00eent\u00e2lnirile fizice, c\u00e2t \u0219i \u00een mediul online, Daniela ofer\u0103 p\u0103rin\u021bilor, profesorilor \u0219i tinerilor un cadru de autocunoa\u0219tere prin Mindfulness, Comunicare Nonviolent\u0103, Educa\u021bie Holistic\u0103 \u0219i empatie, cultiv\u00e2nd acceptarea profund\u0103 a fiec\u0103rei persoane exact a\u0219a cum este.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Foto<\/strong>: arhiva personal\u0103 a Danielei Doru<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-english-version\">English version <\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-embracing-my-shadows-a-journey-through-shame-with-nvc\"><strong>Embracing My Shadows, A Journey Through Shame with NVC<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For as long as I can remember, shame felt like a second skin. As a little girl, I learned early that my presence could trigger discomfort, that my father\u2019s alcoholism and my parents\u2019 struggles were somehow a reflection of me. Guilt and shame became my silent companions, whispering that I was never quite enough or that I was somehow responsible for things far beyond my control.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As I grew, I unconsciously recreated situations that would reaffirm this belief. I would shrink in moments when I had every right to take up space. I would apologize for existing, for speaking too much, for not speaking enough. And when shame wasn\u2019t externally imposed, I would find ways to impose it on myself\u2014through relationships, work, or even the quiet moments alone where my inner critic thrived.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But something shifted when I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and the power of companionship in healing. At first, I approached NVC as a tool to improve how I communicated with others, but soon, I realized that its most profound impact was on how I communicated with myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Triggered by a situation with my own child, sooner I realise that I must meet my Inner Child with Compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the biggest revelations in my journey was understanding that my shame was not who I was but rather a survival mechanism. It was the voice of a little girl who had learned that taking responsibility for everything around her was safer than facing the chaos of unpredictability. Through NVC, I learned to listen to that voice without judgment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of letting shame dictate my inner dialogue, I started using NVC\u2019s core principles:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Observation without judgment: \u201cI notice that I feel shame when I express my needs.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li> Identifying feelings: \u201cRight now, I feel small, exposed, and afraid.\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li> Connecting to needs: \u201cWhat I truly need is to feel seen and accepted, first by myself.\u201d \u2022 Making a request: \u201cCan I offer myself the same kindness I would a dear friend?\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>This simple shift\u2014moving from blame to curiosity\u2014began softening the edges of my shame.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of the most powerful aspects of this journey was recognizing that I didn\u2019t have to heal in isolation, I heal in Connection.Companionship became a mirror where I could see myself through children&#8217;s eyes. Whether through deep friendships or simply being in spaces where I felt safe, I started to rewrite the narrative that I was too much or not enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There are moments when old patterns resurfaced. Times when I would fall into the trap of believing that I had failed if I felt shame again. But through companionship, I learned that healing wasn\u2019t about erasing my shadows\u2014it was about embracing them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I realized that my shame carried messages: of longing for love, of a deep need for belonging, of a desire to be seen in my wholeness. When I stopped rejecting that part of me and instead embraced it with curiosity and care, something beautiful happened. The shame no longer controlled me. Instead, it became a doorway to deeper self-awareness and compassion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Integrating my shadows is an ongoing process. There are still days when shame visits, but now, I greet it as an old friend rather than an enemy, most of the time, not all of the time \ud83d\ude42 I listen to what it has to say, and then I gently remind myself that I am worthy, that I am loved, and that I am not defined by the wounds of my past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NVC and companionship didn\u2019t erase my shame, but they gave me the tools to hold it with tenderness. And in doing so, I found a freedom I never thought possible\u2014the freedom to exist fully, without apology.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Daniela Doru<\/strong>, ACNV Board Member and Candidate for Certification in Nonviolent Communication, has dedicated the last two decades to exploring personal development, discovering that every external interaction is, in fact, a reflection of our own inner world. Combining the roles of mother, wife, teacher and guide to those around us, she has transformed conflicts into opportunities for authentic connection. Passionate about creating safe emotional spaces, both in physical and online encounters, Daniela offers parents, teachers and young people a framework for self-knowledge through Mindfulness, Nonviolent Communication, Holistic Education and empathy, cultivating deep acceptance of each person exactly as they are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Photo<\/strong>: Daniela Doru&#8217;s personal archive<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Articol scris de Daniela Doru. For English, see below De c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u0219tiu, ru\u0219inea a fost ca o a doua cas\u0103 pentru mine. \u00cenc\u0103 de mic\u0103, am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 prezen\u021ba mea putea provoca disconfort, c\u0103 alcoolismul tat\u0103lui meu \u0219i certurile p\u0103rin\u021bilor mei erau, \u00eentr-un fel, o reflec\u021bie a mea. Vinov\u0103\u021bia \u0219i ru\u0219inea mi-au devenit \u00eenso\u021bitori [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6423,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[80],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6422","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized-ro"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v28.8 (Yoast SEO v28.8) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-premium-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>\u00cembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u00e2ndu-mi Umbrele \u2013 C\u0103l\u0103toria\u00a0Ru\u0219inii cu CNV - CNV Rom\u00e2nia<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.cnvromania.ro\/en\/2025\/04\/04\/imbratisandu-mi-umbrele-calatoria-rusinii-cu-cnv\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u00cembr\u0103\u021bi\u0219\u00e2ndu-mi Umbrele \u2013 C\u0103l\u0103toria\u00a0Ru\u0219inii cu CNV\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Articol scris de Daniela Doru. For English, see below De c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u0219tiu, ru\u0219inea a fost ca o a doua cas\u0103 pentru mine. \u00cenc\u0103 de mic\u0103, am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 prezen\u021ba mea putea provoca disconfort, c\u0103 alcoolismul tat\u0103lui meu \u0219i certurile p\u0103rin\u021bilor mei erau, \u00eentr-un fel, o reflec\u021bie a mea. 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