To be in conversation with the land we live on
Recently I found out that my parents decided to sell some of their land.
The land they inherited from my grandfather and from my great grandfather before him.
This means that our family has been in conversation with this piece of land already for five generations.
The land that provided us with food, medicine, playground, fresh air, shelter, a safe-space, and in this way tending some of our most essential human needs connected to our physical well-being as well as the needs for autonomy and belonging.
The land we called Home, that was part of us and we were part of it.
The land that will soon be covered in concrete, serving as a parking lot under the hands of the new owner.
Waves of melancholy and grief are visiting me when I think of my grandfather, who at the age of 87 at 7 in the morning is hoeing the perfectly aligned rows of potatoes. I feel reverence when I think of my ancestors who were self-sufficient and somewhat independent because they knew how to be in conversation with the land. They knew how to observe and listen, to identify what the land needs in order to prosper and provide the whole family, and sometimes even the larger community with plenty of resources essential for their survival.
Yet today we are saying goodbye, transitioning into a new cycle. In our case this step was already anticipated and most likely inevitable. The soil was already polluted because of its environment, it was just a matter of time before it would be swallowed into the hungry belly of the still expanding 21th century artificial construction trend. The way modern society is designed might serve comfort and efficiency but at the cost of suffocating the land making it less capable of breathing and providing us with oxygen, adopting industrial farming practices deplete soil of its fertility, and ultimately severs our connection with Nature, our very own source. The more awareness is brought to this, the more regenerative practices are arising, and this is what brings me hope.
This event, the dissolution of a relationship that I went through last year and the ongoing wars and chaos in the world brings me to question how do I deal with loss? How do I mourn?
I am learning more and more how oftentimes the uncomfortable feelings can become overwhelming and the many patterns I have developed to escape deep feelings of anguish, hurt, heartbreak and pain.
Dr. Marshall Rosengerg talks about Life-connected mourning.
We feel the feelings but we stay connected with the deeper needs rather than being stuck in our judgmental or blaming thinking.
If I stay with it, I can reach the point where I’m able to clearly distinguish in my consciousness between the pain of the unmet need and the beauty of the need itself.
Dr. Rosenberg taught us that by staying connected to the universal human needs we can avoid the old habit of blame, accusation, resentment, and disconnection. 1
With this understanding I recognize in myself the needs for connection, love, care, nurturing.
And I allow my grief to be married with celebration.
In my understanding and experience nothing is ever really lost, everything is transformed in some way. Oftentimes our lives become so saturated that in order for something new to enter us, empty space needs to be created.
And this makes me think about our severed connection with Nature again. At the same time it brings me hope to know that there are still some Nature-based cultures that are modelling an Eco-centric way of living instead of the widespread Ego-centric one, where humans don’t consider themselves separate from Nature, only the human part of it. Hope alternates with grief.
Living a life aligned with the seasons while paying close attention to the rhythm of Nature, we can see how light alternates with darkness, rest alternates with growth, even life alternates with death… One cannot exist without the other. The darkness and the coldness of winter calls us to turn inward, be quiet, slow down, rest, recalibrate ourselves and make space for the spring, for new life, new ideas, beginnings and continued growth.
The days are already getting longer and slowly we can feel the warmth of the Sun on our skin and hear the dawn chorus of birds. With the return of spring2 the time for planting seeds arrives. And when the right conditions are met, life will emerge from a dry seed, hard shell cracking open by the miraculous vitality that was hidden dormant within it. And we all have this vitality within us, to quote Martha Graham:
There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.
With these words I am inviting all of us to ask ourselves
What kind of seeds am I longing to plant?
Maybe we want to plant some trees, maybe we want to start to grow a food garden or plant some flowers in a pot on our balcony. Regardless if we can dig our hands into the soil or not, if we have access to land or not, we all have access to our own inner garden of our Soul. We can always plant new seeds in our own hearts. We might not have the power or resources to change how the World around us is being shaped, yet we can always begin to cultivate an abundance of thriving gardens and forests within us. Maybe we want to plant seeds of empathy, compassion, love, kindness, consciousness, peace, clarity, respect and more… Whatever we choose, may we tend our inner gardens with love and devotion.
I will leave here a quote and a prayer in the form of a song that brings me inspiration.
As we set intentions, we delicately hold in our hands both our needs and those of our Human Family.
Our hearts are budding branches as we tend to All life. Turn the Earth, and prepare the garden bed for whatever work you grow. Wait for the Divine Moment to plant your seeds. We cannot hasten our gardens or our growth. Surrender to Earth’s wisdom. 3
1 – Nonviolent Communication and Grief by Alan Seid / NVC
2 – Astronomically speaking, the first day of spring is marked by the spring equinox, which falls on March 20 / Almanac.
3 – Mahada Thomas © Mother Tongue Ink 2024 from pg 62 in We’Moon 2025
Balázs Gáspár-Daradics (Balu) – Member of the ACNV Board and facilitator for Nonviolent Communication, passionate about igniting the flame of empathy in people’s hearts.
With an education in the visual arts, he considers curiosity, creativity and imagination to be essential skills to reach our human wholeness, thus encouraging and inspiring young people in this direction through his work as a youth worker.
He feels at home in Nature, where we belong and with whom we are interconnected. He believes that there is a great need to restore balance with Nature on a personal and collective level.
Student of permaculture design, and through his explorations, he seeks ways in which these principles can be adopted in order to enhance interpersonal relationships and regenerative communities.
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